I attended a beautiful wedding over the weekend: my gorgeous neice Gillian married her handsome young man, Steve, in a lush garden setting. There were some wonderful touches – guests were given bubble mixture to blow at the end of the ceremony, Gill and Steve poured coloured sand into a glass vase to symbolise the joining of their two lives as one, and the garden was filled with decorations that were special to the happy couple.
But perhaps the most special touch was that the couple wrote their own vows. They did say the usual stuff about loving, cherishing and respecting, that sort of thing. But they also promised to commiserate each other when their footy team lost and to try to remember to pick up their clothes. Not necessarily romantic, but definite unique to them.
It got me thinking about what kind of vows I would have written for my lovely hubby John, had we enjoyed a similar kind of service. Gushing? Heartfelt? Tender? Comedic? For a writer, I am not very good at expressing my own feelings. I can express my characters’ feelings in a heartbeat, but mine? Huh! That would be like peeling off my skin and exposing my bones…no thanks.
I suppose I would have gone down the track of Gill and Steve and chosen something funny but special: Yes, John, I promise to occasionally watch an AFL match on a Friday night and not fall asleep; I will turn a blind eye when your work boots decorate the kitchen step for too long; I will try to match your navy blue socks correctly…
Whilst writing your own vows is intensely personal, a wedding before friends and family is a public declaration of love and commitment and perhaps that is the best statement of all, no words needed.